So I'm sitting here outside, a whole 45 minutes more till my shift starts wondering how in the world am I to lose the tan if I sit outdoors so much.
So while I'm not indulging on my vanity, I browse my memories.

"I just remembered why I want to be friends with her"
"Why?"
"I don't"

What do you do when someone wasnt very nice to you? After the conversation above took place, I started wondering about my friendships, past and present. Sure, there were good times but some friendships get to a point where they seem stale. Perhaps people change and you're left wondering if that's the kind of person you'd call your friend.

"I'm proud to be your friend."
Someone said that to me recently. Friends are people we care for, share our world with and someone you can turn to when you need a hand, no?
I think friend are people whom you aren't ashamed to be yourself with.

Bakka

Stop stalking me! =_= Though with a public blog, I cant say much, can I?

Family

What is it like, I wonder sometimes, to go home. Is it like some picturesque family of the year poster? With someone who actually cares if you had a bad day. The boring routines and noisy squabbles that make up a household.
What would it be like to be part of a family that isnt at each others throats all the time, a family that is united and happy despite all its flaws?

...

You know what I hate? Guys who dont respect girls. I hate it when guys say things they cant promise and pledge immature words of eternal love. I hate it when a guy cant respect a girl enough when she says no and is selfish enough to keep his hopes alive at the cost of her happiness when he claims that all he wants to give her. I hate it when life throws two people apart in distance, class, religion, or socially and make it hard for them to be together. I hate that a guy and girl cant be friends without people predicting they'll get together. I hate it when the only person you can depend on leaves or screws it all up. I hate it when you go hang out with someone and suddenly, someone else is there and just ruins it. I hate it when you keep asking someone to hang out but there's always one excuse or another. I hate it when you need someone but that person isnt there. I hate it when you have to give up on your dreams because of one thing or another that calls for you to be selfless or reasonable or realistic. I hate it when people try to break my faith in someone or in my country and its people and leaders. I hate it when I wake up in the middle of the night and cant go back to sleep. I hate it when people start talking about things that just make me feel so lost and confused like pursuing dreams or family ties like that saying, "blood is thicker than water". I hate it when people talk like I'm not there. I hate it when people pursue their desires, not even their dreams, and making other people suffer and they just dont give a damn. I hate it when parents dont listen. I hate arguing with my sisters or my friends. I hate that sinking feeling that im not going to amount to anything. I hate it when people say things like "poor pets" when there's news of some flood or earthquake because hello, what about the people, damn it? I hate it when someone feels completely lost and I have no idea what to say. I hate having to keep my distance. I hate having to hide how I feel. I hate that you wont accept how I feel and get over it. I hate that I check my phone too many times. I hate that I look in the mirror and always see something I wish would change. I hate lying awake at night because of nightmares from the past. I hate getting an sms from someone pretending to care. I hate it when they just do what is convenient for them without consideration. I hate it when they pretend to know me just because they've known me for close to 21 years. And I hate feeling this way.

The Fine Line

I'm sorting through my iTunes and (finally) deleting off songs which I dont even really like

2000 more songs to go! I had to pause it because it was distracting and how am I supposed to be typing out a post when I'm belting out the best of the 90's.


Ah. So...



Good news! I am recovering ~(^o^)~

As expected, my body was too heaty as such, my temperature was yoyo-ing and i had a helmet of headache.

*stops to hydrate self*


Yesterday was a day of pain.

1. Woke up with a splitting headache to the splitting sound of my alarm

2. Woke up still with a headache to the sound of my ringtone.

3. Looked at phone to discover Aisha is calling.

4. Had to bicker with family why I can go to church and not tim sum when I'm sick. Tim Sum? really?

5. Got to church to discover I dont know where Bible Study is

6. Am 1 hour late for Bible Study

7. *1 hour later* Had to admit to Brother Philip that I didnt go for Bible Study because I couldnt wake up.

8. Had to drive in heat and headache to Subang and back to Klang and then back to Subang.

9. Went for Chinese torture treatment which involves those harmless looking cup things that sucker onto my back and being scraped with some stone-antler-thingie. It was so painful, I could not even speak. Finished up with a almost as painful head, arm and leg massage. Cost? RM50. I know how to teach my kids a lesson when they fall sick

10. Then, had to down a glass of black liquid so bitter- there is no comparison. It is a bitter as artificial sugar is sweet x 2.

11. Drove back to Klang.


Haha. But I'm fine today and my headache is almost completely gone. I bet its many thanks to the bitter drink too.


So what I really came here to talk about is what happened yesterday between 11-1pm.

Pastor Henry had all us youth come down to the main hall to share a message with us and this is what I got from it.

He talked about how the bible is the book of facts then highlighted the passages and scriptures that told us "The world is round" and "the world is suspended". It isnt flat or resting on pillars or the shoulders of Atlas (a Greek god, or was it demigod, who was punished by Hera, if i recall correctly, and made to carry the world on his shoulders for all eternity or at least till he could trick someone into doing it.)

He talked about how in the traceable history of all the religions of the world, they all believe that the world is F L A T.

Hundreds of years before the brilliant scientists of their generation came up with the illuminating fact that the world is round. it is suspended in space or that it orbits the sun (the Catholic Church eventually offered an apology stating they were wrong) it was written there in that book called The Bible, yo.

But of that service, what really got to me was this one line "You can be very religious without being Godly"

For a short moment, it confused me. Then I realized what it meant.

It was like those priests who condemned Jesus and denied him. They were religious. Probably the most religious in those times. But what they lacked was that close and intimate relationship with God. If you were a priest in those days who had a close and intimate relationship with God, I bet He would have told you, "Hey, listen. I'm sending my only son down from heaven so just do what ya gotta do, aight?"

Look at John the Baptist. When Jesus came to him to be baptized, John said that it was Jesus who should be baptizing John. John knew the truth.

What was the difference between these men of God? I bet it has to do with their relationship with God.

One thing that is stressed very often in Church is that "God is not looking for obedient servants but for worthy sons and daughters"

We have been left a legacy, yo!

Say

So there's Avril Lavigne's Things I'll Never Say, Stevie Wonder's I Just Called To Say, John Meyer's Say, Britt Nicole's Say It, Natasha Bedingfield's Say It Again, Jason Derulo's Whatcha Say, Cheetah Girls' I Wont Say, Nelly Furtado's Say It Right, Ronan Keating's When You Say Nothing At All, Beiber's Never Say Never, Ne-Yo's Say Goodbye, Bon Jovi's Never Say Goodbye and Gaga's Nothing Else I Can Say

I'm here because there is something I CANT say. Why cant I say? Several things O_O and its driving me crazy.

Do me a favor, guys. Take a hint.

Of Couple Tees and Emo Love Songs

Sam: There's a stupid couple wearing stupid couple tees
Ridz: Why? You dont like couple tees?
Sam: No, I do. I just dont have a stupid couple tee to wear with anyone
Ridz: I could buy one and post it to you and we could wear it at the same time
Sam: Thats so lame =_=
Ridz: Yeah. Stop talking to me when you're driving

Oh. Best Quote Of The Day (With English translations!)
Shazwan (guy from work): Sam, jaga kedai ah. Kalau terbakar, panggil bomba Sam, look after the shop yea. If there's a fire, call the firemen
Sam: Ok. Kalau kena rompak? Ok. If there's a robbery?
Shazwan: Buat tak tau. Be oblivious

Yesterday, while we attempted to discover the 'perfect soundtrack', Ridz commented on Taylor Swift's songs which are mostly emo love songs.
We all know emo love songs sell the best and they are perfect for blasting while you angst-ly karaoke in your room, pretending like you're in your own personal music video because that guy/girl
~doesnt know you exist (Invisible - D-side)
~keeps messing with your heart (Issues - The Saturdays)
~broke your heart (Forever and Always - Taylor Swift)
~is in love with someone else (Teardrops on My Guitar - Taylor Swift)
~doesnt feel the same way about you (He's Everything You Want - Vertical Horizon)
~is someone you cant be with (Someday we'll know - Mandy Moore)
~is someone you normally wouldnt choose (Hate that I Love You - Rihanna)
~might be the love of your life (Is it you - Cassie)
~cheated on you but you cant forget him/her (Why do I love you - Westlife)
~is really far way (A thousand Miles - Vanessa Carlton)
~is irresistible (Irresistible - The Corrs) LoL

Well, these are just some examples la. But you get what I mean.

Take a second and think which song is the soundtrack to your life right now?

I really wish my room had better reception.

I realized I seem to have this love theme going on lately.

Sam: If I could, I would travel back in time to when I was 16 and beat myself up for complaining guys dont fall for me. Then I would travel to when I was 19 and beat myself up. 'Nuff said.