Tiring is what it is...

My sleep patterns have been thrown off a cliff and left lying there on the ravine floor, broken and in pieces. I almost miss the days when I wake up automatically around 7-8am.  Its 2.19am. I slept at about 9pm? Woke up about 11pm. I have to wake up at 6 am for an 8am class. Though I guess I'll have to leave a little earlier than usual since I'll be part of the morning rush.

Practical class tomorrow and its the least interesting one =\

Got my knife set and uniforms today. I dont like my chef shoes. They're clunky and loose. My feet are stuck at a half size. Anything smaller and my feet are suffocating. A size bigger and its loose. Well, the good thing about chef boots is that I can just wear thicker socks... I hope...

I would really like to go back to sleep... I'd also like for my belongings not to get so easily misplaced by yours truly. I went to college without my little purse bag thing and later on in the day (AFTER lunch where I had to borrow 5 bucks to eat) I found that it had dropped on my car the day before....

Speaking of cars, my dad is away and I have his car. Woot! Sad thing is, I have no where to go besides college. Yeahhhh.... And maybe Tesco. I'm so annoyed my dad has been eating my frozen food. Its like I'm using my allowance to feed my father. Really, dad? Really? I go down looking for my frozen slice of pizza and what do I find? Nothing. I look for my frozen prata and what do I find? My packet of 5 (FIVE) pratas open and a smushed up prata inside it. I am going to take my dad's credit card when he comes back and I am going to Tesco and stocking the fridge PROPERLY. *grumbles* all they buy is maggi and a bunch of food no one cooks.
Really, guys? No one cooks in this house regularly! Fast frozen food FTW.
The only thing of mine that he DIDNT eat was my frozen steamed buns. Why? Probably because they are the healthiest thing I bought. Sighs.
My father is such a boy.

Speaking of boys...

Sigh...

Boys....

This seems to be a season of being plagued by the antics of boys... Their ridiculous ideas, silly notions and stupid mistakes... Let's not forget their unwillingness to listen, compromise and attempt to be considerate.

Sigh...

Boys...

And its that time in my game again where its pissing me off...

Sigh...

Anyone who wants to cheer me up can cook me a nice, yummy bowl of assam laksa maggi.

Love is...

I've been asking myself this for a while... What exactly is love?
I asked Dictionary.com because Dictionary.com and I are real close now

Love

–noun

1. a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.

2. a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.

3. sexual passion or desire. 

–verb (used with object)

15. to have love or affection for: All her pupils love her.

16. to have a profoundly tender, passionate affection for (another person).

17. to have a strong liking for; take great pleasure in: to love music. 

–verb (used with object)

15. to have love or affection for: All her pupils love her.

16. to have a profoundly tender, passionate affection for (another person).

17. to have a strong liking for; take great pleasure in: to love music. 

–verb (used without object)

21. to have love or affection for another person; be in love.

—Verb phrase

22. love up, to hug and cuddle: She loves him up every chance she gets.

—Idioms

23. for love,

     a. out of affection or liking; for pleasure.

     b. without compensation; gratuitously: He took care of the poor for love.

24. for the love of, in consideration of; for the sake of: For the love of mercy, stop that noise.

25. in love, infused with or feeling deep affection or passion: a youth always in love.

Okay, so lets just ignore all the sex parts. I really dont know why there's so much of it.
Read that and thought, "That doesnt help much. Its just more words."

Checked my email and saw I had a comment on one of the poems I wrote on my other blog. Then I started reading my other poems. So many different kinds of poems touching on Love.

Checked my Facebook wall and saw some girl had posted "What is there in life without love?......"
So I posted up on my wall, "What is love?"
Ray: Love - Trusting a boy to NOT break your heart... Which in the end... HE Broke it...
Audrey: A decision

Then I asked a few friends.
Wei Qi: Something that cannot be defined
JC: Your hand in my pants [I am posting it here, Jon, whatcha gonna do? =p]
Jamie: Troublesome
Quah: Love is a pain but worth making [Really, Quah?]
Alex: Devine [He meant Divine]
Joshie: Is for you to complete [Because I asked him to complete the sentence, "love is..."]
Sharon: is something I cant think about now! AHHHH [cuz she's packing]


And finally~
Wei Huan's reply on Facebook!
"Baby dont hurt me"


Love is a decision. I really like that. 
Its stupid to fall in love. Dont rush into it. Instead, grow in love. 
Love isnt something that just happens. It is like a series of small decisions. Deciding to care. Deciding to listen. Deciding to share your company. Deciding to support. 


I am terrified of Love actually. I thought I didnt know what Love meant but I think I do now.


I think...

Hauntings from the Past...

Hello hello hello!~~

Hmm... Hi, guys. What's up?
I would really love to have a burger right now but that is so very fattening! I am back on my diet! Now before anyone rolls their eyes and/or start gearing up their "dont diet, just exercise and eat right!" speeches, let me first say that THAT is exactly what I mean when I say diet.

BUT! I ate a huge Chilli's burger yesterday =( It had beef, cheese, a big slice of tomato and mushroooooooms! (No, they were not magic) AND I stole huge chunks of mash *guilt* (not from stealing the mash but for eating so much) The mash is so frigging good. We had both kinds of mash and they were both super good but foong and i agreed that the black pepper one was better. I swear, my heart dropped when Brandon reached over and took a chunk of the mash

I just finish transferring the Double Rainbow song onto my dad's iPad which I love =(

What else is there? oh... Well, got into a huge argument yesterday but thankfully, it worked itself out in the end. It was a horrible horrible horrible fight... =(
Which brings me to the title of this post.
The past...
If someone lied to you before, you assume he/she would lie to you again, no?
If someone only dated a specific range of girls/guys in the past, does it mean you will never have a shot if you're not in said range?
If someone cheated in the past, does that mean it will happen again?
If someone broke your heart in the past, does it mean he'll do it again?

Well, we all know that in the case of lying, there are many reasons why someone would lie to you (again) to protect themselves, to protect you, to protect someone else... Yeah, lying is pretty much a given.

As for matters of the heart, there isnt a set of rules or guidelines that help us determine or estimate the likelihood of a specific event happening.
As much as you analyze the situation and the details in the fabric, whenever it comes to someone's actions in the past and whether or not they would be repeated, it all comes down to how much you trust that person to do the right thing, not to hurt you and to be the person you know.
That said, I find it amusing and appalling how little people actually know about each other and even themselves. It's sad really.

A very dear and close friend of mine once told me that I deserve happiness and a guy who will give me that. He told me that if a guy is/was mistreating his girlfriend, what if he did that to me? So if I cheated on my boyfriend before, does that mean I am unworthy of being loved by a decent man simply because of what I have done? So only the bad people can be with the bad people and only the good people can be with the good people? Wow, it must be really lonely then to be perfect. No wait, no one is.

Even if you think you are generally a good person and blah blah blah, face it, you're not.
If you're not irritating, you might be easily irritated or detached. If you are not needy then maybe you are aloof and cold. If you are not a do-gooder, you might not do at all.
I said "MAYBE" okay!

I dont know lah. I guess what I'm trying to say is, I wish people would be more accepting of each other's flaws and try harder to see each other for who they really are.

Peking Roast Duck

Every time I look at the little ducking commandeering my downstairs bathroom, the first thing that pops into my head is 'Roast duck... mmmmm..."
So I'm going to bid my time. Let it grow. I've got to learn how to butcher and roast it anyway. I wonder if my syllabus includes duck slaughtering o_O
Hehehe... Then I'll roast it and invite my closest friends and family to eat the little duck. I call it "Stupid Duck". My sister also has a kitten called "Cat". I'm not inhumane. I'm not gonna cook the kitten! Seriously, guys.

I have finally learn how to drive at a normal speed. After crunching some numbers, I realized there's no way I can afford petrol, tolls, food and misc if I keep up my current lifestyle so "Malaysians should change their lifestyle" (Datuk Seri Najib Tun Razak, www.thestar.com.my, 2 March 2006).
Here's an interesting article >> How To Survive With Salary RM3000 In Malaysia.
SPOILER ALERT: If you are a married man with a housewife and two kids, you cant.

I am amazed at how little petrol I consume by going slower! ITS AMAZING!

Haha...

Lunch time. Bye, guys~

My first...

day went a little like this~

I am so tired that it is so not funny. But why would me being tired be funny to begin with? Sadists!
(Maybe I spout all kinds of crap when I'm tired)

So I'm going to bed after I announce that I am now officially a Taylor's Lakeside student!
First day of college and I have two assignments and an assessment test next week. Wow. College has sure bulked up since I was a freshman for the first time.

So I'll post more next time.

I hate the feeling of helplessness...
I wish I could do more...
When I was in genting and on the way down, all till the end of Saturday, I kept thinking about the Bersih rally. While Foong is a "f this country, I'm getting the f outta here", alex agrees with me that each of us has to strive to make a change in our country despite the racism and corruption. While the two of them bickered about politics Saturday morning, I laid on the bed between them (that sounds kinda wrong) and thought.

I love my country. I have a firm belief that as citizens, we have to exercise our rights and stand up for our beliefs to make a difference in and for our nation.
But while tens of thousands of people marched and protested for my country, I watched from a very safe distance, far away from the city.
Yeah, it was smarter, given I could be marked as anti-BN, I could have gotten hurt or arrested. But I feel sad that I wasn't there. That I didn't stand up with so many others and shouted from the rooftops because I wanted to protect myself from the repercussions. Sigh.
I am quite disappointed with myself.

On another note:
Unifi guy is coming this Friday woo! Can't wait. I feel so cut off and isolated from everyone! It's been ages since I chatted with my friends living over the vast seas and oceans. I miss you all terribly!
And it will be a relief to be able to sound my horn freely. I've been stealing whatever connection I can when I go out and buying data plan on my phone.
So when I can, I stalk you guys~

Which brings me to my next train of thought.
How I wish I could be there right next to you guys, my closest friends. I miss you, I wish we had the luxury of time and place to enjoy the closenest we once had. Especially the guys. I miss how refreshing and easy our friendships were, without the constraints of work, assignments and relationships.
I wish I could be there for you to call up when you're feeling lonely, down or just want someone to go do something stupid with. I wish it so much but its apparently not meant to be. All the efforts I've put in sometimes isn't enough.
There are so many words and actions I would take back if I could. If I apologized now, after months and years, would it be enough? Haha... Probably not... Words are just words and without the freedom to back them with actions, that's all they are: words.

Enough emo emo talk.

College this Friday. I am excited and nervous! Urbanscapes is this Saturday and I'm excited for that! Can't wait for a day out in the sun full of shopping, music and food!!

Time for bed! ;p

Genting =)

So I went to Genting on Thursday with my two most favorite guys, Foong and Alex. Despite the many many protests beforehand that 'its going to be weird' and 'its so awkward!' it actually turned out great. They hit it off, just like I knew they would.
C'mon. My friends would all definitely all get along.

We went to the theme park where I convinced Foong to ride the Pirate Ship and where Alex convinced us to ride the AstroBlast or whatever its called (formerly Solero Shot ride)

Dinner was delicious! Rice infused soup, or soup infused rice, depends how you look at it ;)

My favorite part of the trip was the morning after. After we'd all eaten, we were all too lazy to get our butts out of bed, so we just sat there chatting (and napping, on my part) for two over hours =)

The drive down, after we had lunch and visited the casino, was omfg. First, the brakes started smoking about a third down so we stopped to let it cool down. There we were, three of us, eating chips. Then Alex smoked and got honked at ;)
-Gets down from Genting-
Then there was a super massive jam all thanks to a *tooting* roadblock. I think we were stuck there for 2 hours and it was about not more than a Km. Seriously. Seven lanes converged into 1.5 lanes?

It was fun at first, listening to music, eating, honking our horn and dashing across the highway to pee but at the end of it, we were just so damn grumpy and pissed off...

But it was fun =) and I'm glad we went

School Days

Words cannot describe my relief and excitement at going back to school.

To-Do List
1. Stop calling it school

After three years of calling it 'school' instead of college, I'm going to have to kick the habit of calling it 'school'. People here do get so fussy about calling it 'college' and 'uni'.

I cannot wait =D