I hate the feeling of helplessness...
I wish I could do more...
When I was in genting and on the way down, all till the end of Saturday, I kept thinking about the Bersih rally. While Foong is a "f this country, I'm getting the f outta here", alex agrees with me that each of us has to strive to make a change in our country despite the racism and corruption. While the two of them bickered about politics Saturday morning, I laid on the bed between them (that sounds kinda wrong) and thought.

I love my country. I have a firm belief that as citizens, we have to exercise our rights and stand up for our beliefs to make a difference in and for our nation.
But while tens of thousands of people marched and protested for my country, I watched from a very safe distance, far away from the city.
Yeah, it was smarter, given I could be marked as anti-BN, I could have gotten hurt or arrested. But I feel sad that I wasn't there. That I didn't stand up with so many others and shouted from the rooftops because I wanted to protect myself from the repercussions. Sigh.
I am quite disappointed with myself.

On another note:
Unifi guy is coming this Friday woo! Can't wait. I feel so cut off and isolated from everyone! It's been ages since I chatted with my friends living over the vast seas and oceans. I miss you all terribly!
And it will be a relief to be able to sound my horn freely. I've been stealing whatever connection I can when I go out and buying data plan on my phone.
So when I can, I stalk you guys~

Which brings me to my next train of thought.
How I wish I could be there right next to you guys, my closest friends. I miss you, I wish we had the luxury of time and place to enjoy the closenest we once had. Especially the guys. I miss how refreshing and easy our friendships were, without the constraints of work, assignments and relationships.
I wish I could be there for you to call up when you're feeling lonely, down or just want someone to go do something stupid with. I wish it so much but its apparently not meant to be. All the efforts I've put in sometimes isn't enough.
There are so many words and actions I would take back if I could. If I apologized now, after months and years, would it be enough? Haha... Probably not... Words are just words and without the freedom to back them with actions, that's all they are: words.

Enough emo emo talk.

College this Friday. I am excited and nervous! Urbanscapes is this Saturday and I'm excited for that! Can't wait for a day out in the sun full of shopping, music and food!!

Time for bed! ;p