Too Lost In You

sdStalker-san, dont you think checking my blog twice a day is too much? Even once a day is too much since you probably know what I do every day and I cant possibly have updated my blog if I'm driving all over the place, eh?

This song is nice. *points at post title*

I CAUGHT A WARMONGER MOUSE!  Oh yea~ A feat made all the more sweet by beating Stupid Foong to it. Bwekkkkkkkkkkkk. I wonder if he'll even see this ;p

The last days of April are unraveling as I type. May has arrived so soon! It seems like only last month I was planning my trip back to Malaysia and (I know I've said this countless times) so much has happened. I honestly cant believe a lot of the stuff I got up to the last 6 months.

So work is all the more tiring. It is emotionally draining too on top of being so physically tiring and dreadfully dull. Needless to say, this is a profession I do not want to get into.

*love this song* Like Its Her Birthday - Good Charlotte

I really like Sidewalk Prophets. Their songs are really deep and touching.

Okay, you people who have been pestering me to update. I really dont have much to talk aobut.

No, wait.

Ah. On Thursday I went out with Ain and Farhana for a girls day out. Lol. Actually, we spent a huge chunk of time in Daiso before we went for our movie, Thor.

Hot

So Hot

Still so very very hot

*swoons*  Move over, Penn Badgley, there's a new man for me.
Now, big muscles, long haired, blond hair, blue-eyed guys arent exactly my favorite.
But when Chris was out of that clunky armor and shirtless err, we had a close up of him, I was just so ._. O_O
So. Frigging. Hot. Yes, I officially think he is even hotter than Lee Hom, Enrique and Penn Badgley. So. Frigging. H O T
*sigh* Why dont we have guys like this over here?
I googled "Chris Hemsworth Thor Shirtless"

A picture from the movie

When he was younger

These were the best I could get. I can hear girls all over the world crying.

Seriously, How can girls think Bieber is hot?! 

Exhibit A

Exhibit B

Exhibit A

Exhibit B

No competition. Seriously.
Chris Hemsworth is 28 this year.

GTG I AM SO LATEEEEE!!

You! *jabs finger* You are driving me crazy. What the heck is going on? *waves arms around furiously* This has turned totally upside down. CHAOS! BLASPHEMY! Dont you ever get tired of doing this?! GO!!! SHOO! YOU'RE SO ANNOYINGGGGGGGG! *cries* I hate you! *sigh* How typical of me to fall into this stupid stooooopid trap AGAIN! I hope you fall into a pot hole *annoyed* I hope a bird shits on your head.
You. Are. So. DUMBBBBBB

An Everyday Hero

I'm gonna talk about my Everyday Hero.

What is an Everyday Hero?

The other day, I was craving for steamboat (thanks to a certain someone) so I called up my 'big brother', Z. He was headed for a swim at the Subang 3K pool and said he would call me when he was done.

So he did call and I told him I'd pick him up from 3K. He told me I could just wait across the main road and he'd cross the pedestrian bridge. Then I left work and headed there.

When I got there, I parked my car by the side of the road, near the pedestrian bridge. I noticed the car in front of me. All four of its passengers were out of the car and they were looking at something further up the road.
I thought, "Hmm, maybe they're waiting for the jam to clear or whatever" but then I noticed ANOTHER car across the inside road I was on was also pulled over and the two passengers in THAT car were peering into the same direction.
"Ok," I thought, "Probably an accident" Not surprising since it was raining so heavily earlier. Maybe a car crash or something. I was tempted to go take a look but in my family we have this thing "Cannot help, dont kepoh so much". So I stayed put and wait for Z.

It was about 5 minutes later and I was starting to get concerned. A crowd had gathered at what I assumed was the accident site and the previously mentioned staring people were starting to walk towards there.

"Shit," I thought. "This isnt any normal accident. Something real bad must have happened." From the looks of it from my far far distance, nothing seemed to be happening. I considered driving up there with my car.
30 seconds into my train of thought, my phone rang. It was Z.
He asked where was I and I told him I was at the pedestrian bridge waiting for him. I asked where was he. He asked if I could see the crowd. I said yes. He said he was there. I asked why he so kepoh wan and started to walk towards the crowd.

Halfway that short walk, I saw him.

This is what happened.

He was outside 3K when this guy asked if he saw the accident happen. He asked what accident. The guy said there was a motorcycle lying on the road but where was the driver?

So he ran across the main road and pulled the driver of the bike to the side of the road while everyone was just staring and cars were just navigating around that man. The bike driver skidded and was thrown off his bike. He had a broken arm and he was unconscious.
When Z was sure the guy would get the help he needed, he left and called me.

This guy right here my everyday hero. I just put an alphabet as his name because I know he wouldn't want me to tell the whole world but I cant do that though I can at least omit his name.
He's one of my closest friends and my 'big brother'. He's just a pillar of strength and a voice of truth not only to me but also to many of his friends.
If you saw him on the streets, you would probably just pass him by but seriously, honestly, he was a heart of pure gold.
He is just such an amazing guy. He's supportive, kind and caring, never failing to give a rhetorical smack in the head when needed.
To me, he is really a big brother figure in my life. He always looks out for me and makes sure I stay safe. He's always encouraging me in everything I do and all the things I hope to do. He encourages me to broaden my horizons, my views and my perspectives as well as my activities and food palette. He's mature yet fun.

So to my big brother, you're my hero =) Thank you.

I also owe him 10 bucks. Heh.

Love in it's purest form

Heart of compassion,
Worn on one's sleeve in plain sight,
It amazes me.

And people wonder why I don't like dogs

Spent a good two hours creating a ventilation trunking make of cardboard, plastic and duct tape. I love duct tape. It is without a doubt, one of life's greatest inventions. The shop behind my aunt's is a petshop and all their stupid wet dog smell was coming over to our side via the ventilation fan. I didn't, block it, no. But sorry, there will be some backflow from my weatherproofing my project. Lol. Ny aunt heard them wondering why it's so smelly on their side. Well, the air here is dog free again. Good thing too. It was getting worst and the smell was making us feel sick. Still feel a bit queasy.

Oh. And I blew off pasar malam yesterday to exercise and then sleep with that wonderful cool rain air blowing in through the window ;) it was a good evening. Though I suspect my sleeping in caused dinner to be severely delayed and altered. Can't say I'm too upset about that though. Heh heh.

The Endddd is Near~

End of April is coming! Wow!~ Cant believe the date to my 21st is drawing so near already. Seems like only yesterday I was whining about turning 19.

Life is hectic now. Remember when I said, "Just let me know a week in advance when you wanna go out!" Well, lets change that to 2 weeks. April came with a new job. A tiring yet very educational job.
A friend commented that I take the most random seeming jobs and always the more tiring ones. Food retail, waitress, barista and now my latest job. Well, its interesting and I like it!
But seriously, its tiring like heck.

Life is a bitch. You have to grab it by the balls and squeeze 'em till you get what you want =)

I cant remember who it was- oh, wait, now i remember,
who told me, "For once, cant you focus on yourself? What you want? Then just go all out for it!"
another who said, "Too much thought and not enough action will just lead to you regretting and blaming life"
and finally, the most recent, "Find something you are passionate about. Find something you can achieve by your own means without the involvement of anyone else."

Three very wise friends who never fail to look past the surface and deep into my heart. You guys are da bomb!

So my biggest dream right now isnt achievable without the involvement of others but who the "others" are makes a world of difference. I am determined to craft my own fate and destiny instead of relying on other people who just keep stringing me along and toy around with me.

Why care about people who dont care, eh? Less effort spent on them and more effort spent on the things that DO matter. Like life.

Arigato to the friends who have been there for me these last two months. It has been a very- trying and emotional time and I'm grateful.
Waffles* are on meeeee when I get my paycheck~

*Offer valid for limited time only. All rights to substitute and exchange offer are reserved and at my discrepancy. 

I just remembered someone owes me for doing his assignment.
Mr. Stalker-san, lets go for ramen and waffles this sunday! =D

GTG WORKKKKK!!!!

PASAR MALAM TODAY!!!

Breaking out from the prison to awesomeness!

My iPhone is at this moment, consuming so much power that even while charging, the battery is slowly draining.
But I dont care =D its the reason why I can still connect to the internet.

So right now, I'm in the middle of downloading more packages for my now jailbroken phone. For quite a while, I resisted jailbreaking my phone because I (mistakenly) thought that all jailbreaking your phone did was let you download apps for free when you'd normally have to pay.
So I thought "hey, no point in jailbreaking then." if you can afford to pay RM3 for a $0.99 app, then why not?

Then a couple of weeks ago, I went for a BBQ at a friend's house where her brother asked me about my phone and didnt it bother me that some people ask to play with your phone only to go snooping around your pictures and messages? Heck yea. Not that I have anything to hide but who likes it when someone goes through your stuff.
But yea, I had no idea how to jailbreak my phone so I thought I could probably live without. Anyways, 98% of the people who ask to see my phone really just wanna play with the games and stuff.

So life went on till I wanted to download YouTube vids straight to my phone. Loading is a hassle and more often than not, goes a little cuckoo.
And then it happened. I have to have a jailbroken phone to do it. Then I discovered how easy it actually is to jailbreak my phone! *clicks on link*
"Shit, version too high to download"
Then I spent a few hours trying to figure out how to downgrade my version. I ended up not being able to use my phone for the night.
Needless to say, I was highly annoyed at myself for upgrading my version when it actually had nothing to offer.
So when I got home from cell, I tried again. The thing about the internet is that when you are insanely specific, sometimes you find your solution.
It was actually so very easy to jailbreak my phone. So easy, a 8 year old could do it.


*jailbroken*
*stares at phone*
now what?

*goes back to the internet*
*googles "what to do with a jailbreak iphone"*
okay, now we're talking.

it is now about 14 hours (plus sleep time) since I jailbroke my phone and it is awesome!
(granted, it went a bit psycho for a chunk of that time but I worked out the kinks)

Installed packages:
Winterboard
~Allows me to install custom themes and make my phone look kickass awesome or super cute
BiteSMS
~More functions re: messages
FolderEnhancer
~Lifts the cap on apps in a folder (now my phone is super uncluttered) and has a multi-move function <3
Locktopus
~Lets me lock any app I want
MxTube
~YouTube downloader!
PdaNet Free Edition
~Turns my phone into a wireless hotspot yo
Poof
~Further decluttering with a hide app option

There are a few others but these are the most awesome.

Okay, I gotta get off my laptop because I reallly need to charge my phone!!!

So I'm sitting here outside, a whole 45 minutes more till my shift starts wondering how in the world am I to lose the tan if I sit outdoors so much.
So while I'm not indulging on my vanity, I browse my memories.

"I just remembered why I want to be friends with her"
"Why?"
"I don't"

What do you do when someone wasnt very nice to you? After the conversation above took place, I started wondering about my friendships, past and present. Sure, there were good times but some friendships get to a point where they seem stale. Perhaps people change and you're left wondering if that's the kind of person you'd call your friend.

"I'm proud to be your friend."
Someone said that to me recently. Friends are people we care for, share our world with and someone you can turn to when you need a hand, no?
I think friend are people whom you aren't ashamed to be yourself with.

Bakka

Stop stalking me! =_= Though with a public blog, I cant say much, can I?

Family

What is it like, I wonder sometimes, to go home. Is it like some picturesque family of the year poster? With someone who actually cares if you had a bad day. The boring routines and noisy squabbles that make up a household.
What would it be like to be part of a family that isnt at each others throats all the time, a family that is united and happy despite all its flaws?

...

You know what I hate? Guys who dont respect girls. I hate it when guys say things they cant promise and pledge immature words of eternal love. I hate it when a guy cant respect a girl enough when she says no and is selfish enough to keep his hopes alive at the cost of her happiness when he claims that all he wants to give her. I hate it when life throws two people apart in distance, class, religion, or socially and make it hard for them to be together. I hate that a guy and girl cant be friends without people predicting they'll get together. I hate it when the only person you can depend on leaves or screws it all up. I hate it when you go hang out with someone and suddenly, someone else is there and just ruins it. I hate it when you keep asking someone to hang out but there's always one excuse or another. I hate it when you need someone but that person isnt there. I hate it when you have to give up on your dreams because of one thing or another that calls for you to be selfless or reasonable or realistic. I hate it when people try to break my faith in someone or in my country and its people and leaders. I hate it when I wake up in the middle of the night and cant go back to sleep. I hate it when people start talking about things that just make me feel so lost and confused like pursuing dreams or family ties like that saying, "blood is thicker than water". I hate it when people talk like I'm not there. I hate it when people pursue their desires, not even their dreams, and making other people suffer and they just dont give a damn. I hate it when parents dont listen. I hate arguing with my sisters or my friends. I hate that sinking feeling that im not going to amount to anything. I hate it when people say things like "poor pets" when there's news of some flood or earthquake because hello, what about the people, damn it? I hate it when someone feels completely lost and I have no idea what to say. I hate having to keep my distance. I hate having to hide how I feel. I hate that you wont accept how I feel and get over it. I hate that I check my phone too many times. I hate that I look in the mirror and always see something I wish would change. I hate lying awake at night because of nightmares from the past. I hate getting an sms from someone pretending to care. I hate it when they just do what is convenient for them without consideration. I hate it when they pretend to know me just because they've known me for close to 21 years. And I hate feeling this way.

The Fine Line

I'm sorting through my iTunes and (finally) deleting off songs which I dont even really like

2000 more songs to go! I had to pause it because it was distracting and how am I supposed to be typing out a post when I'm belting out the best of the 90's.


Ah. So...



Good news! I am recovering ~(^o^)~

As expected, my body was too heaty as such, my temperature was yoyo-ing and i had a helmet of headache.

*stops to hydrate self*


Yesterday was a day of pain.

1. Woke up with a splitting headache to the splitting sound of my alarm

2. Woke up still with a headache to the sound of my ringtone.

3. Looked at phone to discover Aisha is calling.

4. Had to bicker with family why I can go to church and not tim sum when I'm sick. Tim Sum? really?

5. Got to church to discover I dont know where Bible Study is

6. Am 1 hour late for Bible Study

7. *1 hour later* Had to admit to Brother Philip that I didnt go for Bible Study because I couldnt wake up.

8. Had to drive in heat and headache to Subang and back to Klang and then back to Subang.

9. Went for Chinese torture treatment which involves those harmless looking cup things that sucker onto my back and being scraped with some stone-antler-thingie. It was so painful, I could not even speak. Finished up with a almost as painful head, arm and leg massage. Cost? RM50. I know how to teach my kids a lesson when they fall sick

10. Then, had to down a glass of black liquid so bitter- there is no comparison. It is a bitter as artificial sugar is sweet x 2.

11. Drove back to Klang.


Haha. But I'm fine today and my headache is almost completely gone. I bet its many thanks to the bitter drink too.


So what I really came here to talk about is what happened yesterday between 11-1pm.

Pastor Henry had all us youth come down to the main hall to share a message with us and this is what I got from it.

He talked about how the bible is the book of facts then highlighted the passages and scriptures that told us "The world is round" and "the world is suspended". It isnt flat or resting on pillars or the shoulders of Atlas (a Greek god, or was it demigod, who was punished by Hera, if i recall correctly, and made to carry the world on his shoulders for all eternity or at least till he could trick someone into doing it.)

He talked about how in the traceable history of all the religions of the world, they all believe that the world is F L A T.

Hundreds of years before the brilliant scientists of their generation came up with the illuminating fact that the world is round. it is suspended in space or that it orbits the sun (the Catholic Church eventually offered an apology stating they were wrong) it was written there in that book called The Bible, yo.

But of that service, what really got to me was this one line "You can be very religious without being Godly"

For a short moment, it confused me. Then I realized what it meant.

It was like those priests who condemned Jesus and denied him. They were religious. Probably the most religious in those times. But what they lacked was that close and intimate relationship with God. If you were a priest in those days who had a close and intimate relationship with God, I bet He would have told you, "Hey, listen. I'm sending my only son down from heaven so just do what ya gotta do, aight?"

Look at John the Baptist. When Jesus came to him to be baptized, John said that it was Jesus who should be baptizing John. John knew the truth.

What was the difference between these men of God? I bet it has to do with their relationship with God.

One thing that is stressed very often in Church is that "God is not looking for obedient servants but for worthy sons and daughters"

We have been left a legacy, yo!

Say

So there's Avril Lavigne's Things I'll Never Say, Stevie Wonder's I Just Called To Say, John Meyer's Say, Britt Nicole's Say It, Natasha Bedingfield's Say It Again, Jason Derulo's Whatcha Say, Cheetah Girls' I Wont Say, Nelly Furtado's Say It Right, Ronan Keating's When You Say Nothing At All, Beiber's Never Say Never, Ne-Yo's Say Goodbye, Bon Jovi's Never Say Goodbye and Gaga's Nothing Else I Can Say

I'm here because there is something I CANT say. Why cant I say? Several things O_O and its driving me crazy.

Do me a favor, guys. Take a hint.

Of Couple Tees and Emo Love Songs

Sam: There's a stupid couple wearing stupid couple tees
Ridz: Why? You dont like couple tees?
Sam: No, I do. I just dont have a stupid couple tee to wear with anyone
Ridz: I could buy one and post it to you and we could wear it at the same time
Sam: Thats so lame =_=
Ridz: Yeah. Stop talking to me when you're driving

Oh. Best Quote Of The Day (With English translations!)
Shazwan (guy from work): Sam, jaga kedai ah. Kalau terbakar, panggil bomba Sam, look after the shop yea. If there's a fire, call the firemen
Sam: Ok. Kalau kena rompak? Ok. If there's a robbery?
Shazwan: Buat tak tau. Be oblivious

Yesterday, while we attempted to discover the 'perfect soundtrack', Ridz commented on Taylor Swift's songs which are mostly emo love songs.
We all know emo love songs sell the best and they are perfect for blasting while you angst-ly karaoke in your room, pretending like you're in your own personal music video because that guy/girl
~doesnt know you exist (Invisible - D-side)
~keeps messing with your heart (Issues - The Saturdays)
~broke your heart (Forever and Always - Taylor Swift)
~is in love with someone else (Teardrops on My Guitar - Taylor Swift)
~doesnt feel the same way about you (He's Everything You Want - Vertical Horizon)
~is someone you cant be with (Someday we'll know - Mandy Moore)
~is someone you normally wouldnt choose (Hate that I Love You - Rihanna)
~might be the love of your life (Is it you - Cassie)
~cheated on you but you cant forget him/her (Why do I love you - Westlife)
~is really far way (A thousand Miles - Vanessa Carlton)
~is irresistible (Irresistible - The Corrs) LoL

Well, these are just some examples la. But you get what I mean.

Take a second and think which song is the soundtrack to your life right now?

I really wish my room had better reception.

I realized I seem to have this love theme going on lately.

Sam: If I could, I would travel back in time to when I was 16 and beat myself up for complaining guys dont fall for me. Then I would travel to when I was 19 and beat myself up. 'Nuff said.

Oh, the antics of the young...

I'm shaking my head with an abashed smile on my face and that "what can we do?" expression.
Seriously, some of the things I get myself into...
I have signed up online at 2 different sites which will let me help people plagiarize my writing and pretend it is theirs by handing me a wad of cash for my cooperation. Ah college, such a gold mine.

So I'm sitting here, waiting for my laundry to be done. My driving instructor has forgotten about me =( All for the best, I guess. it might be a divine sign.

While I was loading my laundry, I thought of an interesting post.

Why I'm Staying Single
1- Laundry
Now, those of you who know me know that I am a horribly lazy and undisciplined person. A boyfriend distracts me even further from the pile of ever growing dirty laundry in my room, screaming to be cared for. After a month, yes, a month, I am doing my laundry. Life is distracting and full enough of procrastinations already, go away.
2- I Get Fat(ter)
Before you get annoyed at me for my use of the word 'fat', I am using it lightly. 'Chubby' doesnt have the same ring. Due to my laziness, I have a tendency to skip meals or to just eat simple things like bread and honey stars *eyes honey stars in the container next to the computer*
Okay, I'm back. My stomach was growling so I just HAD to have some. Where was I? Oh. Okay. So what happens when there is this guy always asking me out to dinners and lunches or  just dropping by only to be bullied by me to bring me to those delectable curry puffs I love so much, the mouth watering fried chicken I so desire or those savory yet crispy chocolate pastries I adore~ All that bak kut teh, Western food, fast food and Italian food~ I didnt mention Japanese food because it is generally pretty healthy.
3- Money, Money, Money
Dating = dates. Since I have never been the type to let a guy pay for everything for me, it means more 'money out' =( I spend enough on books and my usual weird stuff as it is. Also, guys have a tendency to bring me to 1 Utama and KLCC (okay, its cuz I like it there) and we know the stuff there ain't cheap.
Plus, all the smsing and phone calls.
4- Little Sister, Big Tantrum
She gets grumpy and pissy when I'm out a lot.
5- Kick-wha?
Dating makes me more docile. I am so not as kick ass and that is just sad. Plus, all the mushy stuff and the love songs make me gooey and hence, less kick ass.
6- Serena's dating who?
I get really behind on my TV shows though it is a happy goldmine when I get my alone time to update myself on 'all the latest gossip and I know I love her XOXO' and fill myself with Glee only to still NOT discover who is the mother of those stupid kids on that stupid sofa. A person should always keep up to date with their favorite series =(

I'm hungry now. So thats all for my list. Hope it was amusing enough =p

The Smell Of Your Perfume~

HELLO!!!!
It is a cold Thursday here in my bedroom where at 8:55am, I am still in my pajamas. Well, actually, my pajamas are usually just really comfy day clothes so... I am still in the clothes I wore to sleep.
Yes, unnecessary, I know.

I would like a club sandwich =( Those things are delicious~ (The one I eat regularly is at Coffee Bean BTW)
Yum~ Turkey ham with cheese and egg with a little bit of pepper~ *shivers*

Ok, yes, I'm hungry.

So Ridz is leaving today. Boo. I will miss him despite all our bickering and mindf***ing each other all the time. I dont know why he couldnt have gone back on the 26th like all the other people. Dumb ass.
It's been nice hanging out with you, Ridz, see you probably never =_="\

 I wonder how you guys title your posts. More often than not, my titles have very little to do with my post and mostly to do with what's going through my head. Which is odd. Since the post is supposed to contain things going through my head. Huh.

I forgot to start my iTunes.
Oh, I just remembered something I can talk about! My BBQ!

Taken by one of the guys

My really huge family 

Gosh, that was awesome. Fortunately there was enough food though Darren said there wasnt enough satay.
Sadly, a bunch of them couldnt make it because of
-exams
-assignments
-family stuff
-its Klang. . . . .


Ridz came first to help me set up then Joshua came at 6 so we started bbq-ing some chicken for ourselves~
Eventually, Ridz left to get Jeff and Ran and people very slowly tricked in. The first to arrive after that was Alex, Keith and Kok Hou. Then Ridz, Jeff, Ran came.
The look on the guys faces were ._.
"Sam, are there ANY girls coming?"
So there I was going "REALLY!!! There are!! Really! Tell them Joshua!"
Then Christina and Sherwyn came and proved it. Take that. LoL
At one point, before the girls arrived, I was looking out of the gate and the guy were talking then all of a sudden, Ridz shouted from the BBQ pit, "I DID SAM! I DID SAM!"
I turned around with my WTF face on but it turns out they were talking about South Australian Matriculation but I'm on to you, Ridz. I know you did that deliberately eventhough you really DID do SAM =_="
Best part: My dad was in earshot. Boom.

Other mishaps include me totally forgetting about plates and cups though sis Kim came to my rescue with cups and Foong arrived with plates in hand but neh, I know you guys had fun eating chicken like barbarians.
I am going to invite Randall and Jeff to every one of my BBQs from now on. Those guys know how to bbq yo.
Anyways, it was awesome and it was nice to see my subang family bonding with my klang family.

 

 

Big Brother, Alex

Sam: This is Alex, my 'big brother'
JQ: Eh, you guys even look alike!!

Me, Ridz and JQ

Ridz is a total photo crasher.

We girls look tiny.

Sis Kim and Bawanie

I love this picture, its like "Say wha-?"

Jeff, Sherwen and Christina

Aisha: Ewwwwwwww

Kok Hou: No one likes me =(

 Actually, Kok Hou practically dominated the girls, one at a time

Really sweet pic

Sam's BBQ a.k.a. photo shoot 

Sam: Aisha, move! We're creating a scandal!

=)

Dint I, Dint I, Dint I See You Cryinnn

This is a song that has been stuck in my head for weeks since I watched 'John Tucker Must Die'. I finally grew frustrated with knowing only two lines of the song and decided to google it.
As simple of a song it is, it is actually pretty nice and singable.

Wow, this is the fifth year my blog is up. Thinking back to the things that happened in 2007, it really makes me feel ._.
I have to go soon to pick up my sister...

You know, life gets really hard sometimes but there's always a reason to smile. Last night, after I typed out that post, I went for cell and ended up in stitches. Not literally. I just mean I laughed so much.
So things dont end the way I want them to and relationships dont go the direction I hope they would, situations dont magically resolve themselves and decisions are hard to make especially when they are monumental.
Last night, Su Ling read a passage from the Bible and its message is basically, 'but if you live on, you live on for Christ'
To me, it reminded me that there's no way I can just abandon my life, however shattered it may be just because it is hard and things dont work out the way they do.
No matter how alone I feel or how discouraged I get, there is nothing I can do, nothing I SHOULD do but to keep on trying.
I have to strengthen my determination, my courage, my faith and *ergh* my patience. I have to grow in wisdom

oh crap gtg

This love is bringing me down~~

So this week has been a really turbulent week.
Barely got any sleep on most nights. Some nights I was out late and some nights I stayed up late and some nights I was kept up late.

Today at work was *sigh*. I was so tired that I kept messing up orders so I asked to go home early. I reached home and immediately went to bed.

This week sucks. I had to do a couple of things I shouldnt or didnt want to do. Some were unavoidable and some were just plain dumb.

And not only did I forget that cell usually starts at 8.30pm (and i've been going for cell for MONTHS), I thought today is Thursday. It isnt.

The only 'nice' thing about this week is probably Valentines though I got a small unexpected Valentine surprise a few days later.
So I've been ranting about how V'day is just another day and that its actually kinda dumb. It is.
I spent my Valentines helping out in my aunt's shop. The look on those guys faces when they came in to buy flowers for their girlfriends was just so- well, its quite indescribable. Some guys who were obviously not loaded, shelling out RM180 for a bouquet of flowers which would completely die in 2 weeks but that look on their faces.
As sweet as I thought it was, in my head I was going "you poor poor fools" RM180 for a dozen of nicely wrapped roses? Seriously. Rip off. My spies told me that bouquets in other shops were priced even higher.
Poor. Poor. Fools.
Some guys came in, looked around and when I asked if I could help them, they went, "I want to buy flowers"
duh?
Me: what flowers would you like?
Guy: Do you have roses?
Me: *gestures to the insane amount of roses in the shop* uh, yea.

Some guys even wanted me to write the card for them =_=" No. Way.
Imagine a dozen red roses wrapped so fine and when you flip open the note, it says "Happy Valentines Day" in girl writing. Really, guys?
I hope you girls are happy with your flowers, I am. I was paid a chunk of money! =D

But yea, this week aint working for me.

Another whiny post by Sam Chen!!

Hi...

Hi person-from-Klang-who-checks-my-blog-persistently.

So today I received a comment from one of my stalkers, "I cant stalk your blog if there are no updates"

I dunno what to post ma... Seriously. Sometimes I type out a post halfway then decide not to finish it for certain reasons and so no post. What should I post when I have nothing to post or no mood to post la?

Well... Work is very fun. I have learn a lot, some not related to my work at all. I also discovered something about myself. lol. self discovery~
I also discovered that young people like lattes. And aisha has a fantasy of having a shelf full of (useless but pretty) bottles as does Joshua. Oh gosh, totally forgot about their bottles. But then no one seems to have been drinking lattes lately.

What else eh? Actually, I have some stuff on my mind which I cant freely speak about here and I'm pretty distracted by it lately so its hard to crap.

So I guess this shall just be a post to let you stalkers know I'm still alive and kicking. Though if you were REALLY stalkers, you'd already know that =)

Peace out!

Oh yea, you invited peeps, please respond to my bbq invite on fb yea!

ps, I had fun today thought im sorry for the end

11:10pm

Sometimes, its a little hard to breathe.
Sometimes, its like standing on the edge for more than a moment past "too long". All the exhilaration is gone as is the adrenaline. You just peer off the edge and go, "fuck." Every bit and every shade of "I can do this" slowly trickles away leaving you in the deafening silence of  "I cant."
Sometimes, when enough darkness has slithered in, it is hard to keep the light burning...
Then now it turns into a perverse game devised by some creature of the dark, some cruel forces of the universe.
Its like some climax of a bad book or brightly colored comic book: "will the main character make it!?"
There's this short film where the roads were so jammed that a man decided to venture out his car in search of food and shelter. Then he meets a woman and together they build a life in an alley, trapped by never moving cars. They grow food and trap birds. Eventually they have a baby, a life. One day, when the baby is a bit older, they look out of the alley to find the cars are gone.
I dont know why this is popped into my head. A challenge perhaps, to build something out of a bleak situation. Well, hear this, world: "I NEED A BREAK!"
Take, take, take. I'm tired of it all. I'm tired of all the mind fucks and all the screwing overs. I'm tired of the chess games and the strategies. You know what? For an 'intellectual', I HATE chess. I dont like it. I prefer checkers. I like backgammon. Pool. Risk. Poker. Uno. Even Monopoly, i can stand. I HATE CHESS.

So hey, whats say I get a little air?

Because I.... CANT. Breathe.

ps, to you-whom-i-shant-name
you can stop reading my blog lest your eyes rot from my pathetic-ness and you die of hatred and boredom. you were indupitively wrong about the best friend thing so you have ABSOLUTELY no worries.
May you all live a happy, prosperous life and Happy Chinese New Year.