HIMYM says

You do not invite a girl to an event that is X time away if X is more than the amount of time you have been dating.

Hi, Jon, how's my blog? Heh.

Its been really tiring lately. Lost my purse AGAIN and kena marah about 7 times last night because of it.

I spent lunch time today being bullied. by a 17 year old girl. She kept asking me about my on going relationship and never seemed satisfied with my answers.

Ellie: So are you going to marry him?
Sam: Its not even official yet. (The relationship)
Ellie: WHYY?
Sam: ._. because I have commitment phobia
Ellie: Then how are you going to get married?
Sam: Wha? Not like I can get married while I'm still a student
Ellie: Then when are you getting married?!
Sam: Eventually lah!
Ellie: OMG! But then by the time you finish you're like 24 and you going to date for like 2-3 years then get married OMG you'll be so old! What if something happens?
Sam: Wha? What is going to happen? Anyways, We're not even ready to be married! And its only 24! He's only 25 now loh.
Ellie: WHAT? THEN WHAT IF SOMETHING SOMETHING HAPPENS AND HE ENDS UP OLD AND ALONE?!

Yeah. That goes on for like another 45 minutes. LoL. Apparently, 30 is too old to be married. Hahahahaha...  Thats what I thought when I was that age too.
Then she asks for a picture and what does she comment?
"Gosh, you guys already look married"
I cant believe I found someone even more marriage obsessed than I am.

Tired tired tired... So very tired. I have a pastry class tomorrow!~ woot!! So excited yo! I am afraid I'll forget my chef uniform then die loh. Choux pastry? Ah. My sister is the baker, not me. I only know how to eat the things she makes and believe me, it is delicious.

Went to Rumah Kids on Saturday to help set up their library and sieve through the inappropriate materials. Gosh, I felt so heart broken seeing those books being tossed aside. I could feel my heart breaking! But I saved some of them and asked if I could take them if they didnt want it.
Yes, I took books from orphans!
Some of the books were really inappropriate for them la. I dont know why but there were Buddhist books and even a Hindu book there. Oh, the first book I tossed: Arabian Nights. Have you ever read Arabian Nights? As in the real version? Its so dirty with all the djinns and the horny wives. WTF?

Anyways, I'm gonna go look for my pouch/purse now... Then I'm gonna eat maggi for dinner! Woot!

Tiring is what it is...

My sleep patterns have been thrown off a cliff and left lying there on the ravine floor, broken and in pieces. I almost miss the days when I wake up automatically around 7-8am.  Its 2.19am. I slept at about 9pm? Woke up about 11pm. I have to wake up at 6 am for an 8am class. Though I guess I'll have to leave a little earlier than usual since I'll be part of the morning rush.

Practical class tomorrow and its the least interesting one =\

Got my knife set and uniforms today. I dont like my chef shoes. They're clunky and loose. My feet are stuck at a half size. Anything smaller and my feet are suffocating. A size bigger and its loose. Well, the good thing about chef boots is that I can just wear thicker socks... I hope...

I would really like to go back to sleep... I'd also like for my belongings not to get so easily misplaced by yours truly. I went to college without my little purse bag thing and later on in the day (AFTER lunch where I had to borrow 5 bucks to eat) I found that it had dropped on my car the day before....

Speaking of cars, my dad is away and I have his car. Woot! Sad thing is, I have no where to go besides college. Yeahhhh.... And maybe Tesco. I'm so annoyed my dad has been eating my frozen food. Its like I'm using my allowance to feed my father. Really, dad? Really? I go down looking for my frozen slice of pizza and what do I find? Nothing. I look for my frozen prata and what do I find? My packet of 5 (FIVE) pratas open and a smushed up prata inside it. I am going to take my dad's credit card when he comes back and I am going to Tesco and stocking the fridge PROPERLY. *grumbles* all they buy is maggi and a bunch of food no one cooks.
Really, guys? No one cooks in this house regularly! Fast frozen food FTW.
The only thing of mine that he DIDNT eat was my frozen steamed buns. Why? Probably because they are the healthiest thing I bought. Sighs.
My father is such a boy.

Speaking of boys...

Sigh...

Boys....

This seems to be a season of being plagued by the antics of boys... Their ridiculous ideas, silly notions and stupid mistakes... Let's not forget their unwillingness to listen, compromise and attempt to be considerate.

Sigh...

Boys...

And its that time in my game again where its pissing me off...

Sigh...

Anyone who wants to cheer me up can cook me a nice, yummy bowl of assam laksa maggi.

Love is...

I've been asking myself this for a while... What exactly is love?
I asked Dictionary.com because Dictionary.com and I are real close now

Love

–noun

1. a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.

2. a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.

3. sexual passion or desire. 

–verb (used with object)

15. to have love or affection for: All her pupils love her.

16. to have a profoundly tender, passionate affection for (another person).

17. to have a strong liking for; take great pleasure in: to love music. 

–verb (used with object)

15. to have love or affection for: All her pupils love her.

16. to have a profoundly tender, passionate affection for (another person).

17. to have a strong liking for; take great pleasure in: to love music. 

–verb (used without object)

21. to have love or affection for another person; be in love.

—Verb phrase

22. love up, to hug and cuddle: She loves him up every chance she gets.

—Idioms

23. for love,

     a. out of affection or liking; for pleasure.

     b. without compensation; gratuitously: He took care of the poor for love.

24. for the love of, in consideration of; for the sake of: For the love of mercy, stop that noise.

25. in love, infused with or feeling deep affection or passion: a youth always in love.

Okay, so lets just ignore all the sex parts. I really dont know why there's so much of it.
Read that and thought, "That doesnt help much. Its just more words."

Checked my email and saw I had a comment on one of the poems I wrote on my other blog. Then I started reading my other poems. So many different kinds of poems touching on Love.

Checked my Facebook wall and saw some girl had posted "What is there in life without love?......"
So I posted up on my wall, "What is love?"
Ray: Love - Trusting a boy to NOT break your heart... Which in the end... HE Broke it...
Audrey: A decision

Then I asked a few friends.
Wei Qi: Something that cannot be defined
JC: Your hand in my pants [I am posting it here, Jon, whatcha gonna do? =p]
Jamie: Troublesome
Quah: Love is a pain but worth making [Really, Quah?]
Alex: Devine [He meant Divine]
Joshie: Is for you to complete [Because I asked him to complete the sentence, "love is..."]
Sharon: is something I cant think about now! AHHHH [cuz she's packing]


And finally~
Wei Huan's reply on Facebook!
"Baby dont hurt me"


Love is a decision. I really like that. 
Its stupid to fall in love. Dont rush into it. Instead, grow in love. 
Love isnt something that just happens. It is like a series of small decisions. Deciding to care. Deciding to listen. Deciding to share your company. Deciding to support. 


I am terrified of Love actually. I thought I didnt know what Love meant but I think I do now.


I think...

Hauntings from the Past...

Hello hello hello!~~

Hmm... Hi, guys. What's up?
I would really love to have a burger right now but that is so very fattening! I am back on my diet! Now before anyone rolls their eyes and/or start gearing up their "dont diet, just exercise and eat right!" speeches, let me first say that THAT is exactly what I mean when I say diet.

BUT! I ate a huge Chilli's burger yesterday =( It had beef, cheese, a big slice of tomato and mushroooooooms! (No, they were not magic) AND I stole huge chunks of mash *guilt* (not from stealing the mash but for eating so much) The mash is so frigging good. We had both kinds of mash and they were both super good but foong and i agreed that the black pepper one was better. I swear, my heart dropped when Brandon reached over and took a chunk of the mash

I just finish transferring the Double Rainbow song onto my dad's iPad which I love =(

What else is there? oh... Well, got into a huge argument yesterday but thankfully, it worked itself out in the end. It was a horrible horrible horrible fight... =(
Which brings me to the title of this post.
The past...
If someone lied to you before, you assume he/she would lie to you again, no?
If someone only dated a specific range of girls/guys in the past, does it mean you will never have a shot if you're not in said range?
If someone cheated in the past, does that mean it will happen again?
If someone broke your heart in the past, does it mean he'll do it again?

Well, we all know that in the case of lying, there are many reasons why someone would lie to you (again) to protect themselves, to protect you, to protect someone else... Yeah, lying is pretty much a given.

As for matters of the heart, there isnt a set of rules or guidelines that help us determine or estimate the likelihood of a specific event happening.
As much as you analyze the situation and the details in the fabric, whenever it comes to someone's actions in the past and whether or not they would be repeated, it all comes down to how much you trust that person to do the right thing, not to hurt you and to be the person you know.
That said, I find it amusing and appalling how little people actually know about each other and even themselves. It's sad really.

A very dear and close friend of mine once told me that I deserve happiness and a guy who will give me that. He told me that if a guy is/was mistreating his girlfriend, what if he did that to me? So if I cheated on my boyfriend before, does that mean I am unworthy of being loved by a decent man simply because of what I have done? So only the bad people can be with the bad people and only the good people can be with the good people? Wow, it must be really lonely then to be perfect. No wait, no one is.

Even if you think you are generally a good person and blah blah blah, face it, you're not.
If you're not irritating, you might be easily irritated or detached. If you are not needy then maybe you are aloof and cold. If you are not a do-gooder, you might not do at all.
I said "MAYBE" okay!

I dont know lah. I guess what I'm trying to say is, I wish people would be more accepting of each other's flaws and try harder to see each other for who they really are.

Peking Roast Duck

Every time I look at the little ducking commandeering my downstairs bathroom, the first thing that pops into my head is 'Roast duck... mmmmm..."
So I'm going to bid my time. Let it grow. I've got to learn how to butcher and roast it anyway. I wonder if my syllabus includes duck slaughtering o_O
Hehehe... Then I'll roast it and invite my closest friends and family to eat the little duck. I call it "Stupid Duck". My sister also has a kitten called "Cat". I'm not inhumane. I'm not gonna cook the kitten! Seriously, guys.

I have finally learn how to drive at a normal speed. After crunching some numbers, I realized there's no way I can afford petrol, tolls, food and misc if I keep up my current lifestyle so "Malaysians should change their lifestyle" (Datuk Seri Najib Tun Razak, www.thestar.com.my, 2 March 2006).
Here's an interesting article >> How To Survive With Salary RM3000 In Malaysia.
SPOILER ALERT: If you are a married man with a housewife and two kids, you cant.

I am amazed at how little petrol I consume by going slower! ITS AMAZING!

Haha...

Lunch time. Bye, guys~

My first...

day went a little like this~

I am so tired that it is so not funny. But why would me being tired be funny to begin with? Sadists!
(Maybe I spout all kinds of crap when I'm tired)

So I'm going to bed after I announce that I am now officially a Taylor's Lakeside student!
First day of college and I have two assignments and an assessment test next week. Wow. College has sure bulked up since I was a freshman for the first time.

So I'll post more next time.

I hate the feeling of helplessness...
I wish I could do more...
When I was in genting and on the way down, all till the end of Saturday, I kept thinking about the Bersih rally. While Foong is a "f this country, I'm getting the f outta here", alex agrees with me that each of us has to strive to make a change in our country despite the racism and corruption. While the two of them bickered about politics Saturday morning, I laid on the bed between them (that sounds kinda wrong) and thought.

I love my country. I have a firm belief that as citizens, we have to exercise our rights and stand up for our beliefs to make a difference in and for our nation.
But while tens of thousands of people marched and protested for my country, I watched from a very safe distance, far away from the city.
Yeah, it was smarter, given I could be marked as anti-BN, I could have gotten hurt or arrested. But I feel sad that I wasn't there. That I didn't stand up with so many others and shouted from the rooftops because I wanted to protect myself from the repercussions. Sigh.
I am quite disappointed with myself.

On another note:
Unifi guy is coming this Friday woo! Can't wait. I feel so cut off and isolated from everyone! It's been ages since I chatted with my friends living over the vast seas and oceans. I miss you all terribly!
And it will be a relief to be able to sound my horn freely. I've been stealing whatever connection I can when I go out and buying data plan on my phone.
So when I can, I stalk you guys~

Which brings me to my next train of thought.
How I wish I could be there right next to you guys, my closest friends. I miss you, I wish we had the luxury of time and place to enjoy the closenest we once had. Especially the guys. I miss how refreshing and easy our friendships were, without the constraints of work, assignments and relationships.
I wish I could be there for you to call up when you're feeling lonely, down or just want someone to go do something stupid with. I wish it so much but its apparently not meant to be. All the efforts I've put in sometimes isn't enough.
There are so many words and actions I would take back if I could. If I apologized now, after months and years, would it be enough? Haha... Probably not... Words are just words and without the freedom to back them with actions, that's all they are: words.

Enough emo emo talk.

College this Friday. I am excited and nervous! Urbanscapes is this Saturday and I'm excited for that! Can't wait for a day out in the sun full of shopping, music and food!!

Time for bed! ;p

Genting =)

So I went to Genting on Thursday with my two most favorite guys, Foong and Alex. Despite the many many protests beforehand that 'its going to be weird' and 'its so awkward!' it actually turned out great. They hit it off, just like I knew they would.
C'mon. My friends would all definitely all get along.

We went to the theme park where I convinced Foong to ride the Pirate Ship and where Alex convinced us to ride the AstroBlast or whatever its called (formerly Solero Shot ride)

Dinner was delicious! Rice infused soup, or soup infused rice, depends how you look at it ;)

My favorite part of the trip was the morning after. After we'd all eaten, we were all too lazy to get our butts out of bed, so we just sat there chatting (and napping, on my part) for two over hours =)

The drive down, after we had lunch and visited the casino, was omfg. First, the brakes started smoking about a third down so we stopped to let it cool down. There we were, three of us, eating chips. Then Alex smoked and got honked at ;)
-Gets down from Genting-
Then there was a super massive jam all thanks to a *tooting* roadblock. I think we were stuck there for 2 hours and it was about not more than a Km. Seriously. Seven lanes converged into 1.5 lanes?

It was fun at first, listening to music, eating, honking our horn and dashing across the highway to pee but at the end of it, we were just so damn grumpy and pissed off...

But it was fun =) and I'm glad we went

School Days

Words cannot describe my relief and excitement at going back to school.

To-Do List
1. Stop calling it school

After three years of calling it 'school' instead of college, I'm going to have to kick the habit of calling it 'school'. People here do get so fussy about calling it 'college' and 'uni'.

I cannot wait =D

I hate romance movies. Life doesn't work that way. All that happily ever afters and that strong conviction that "she/he's the one!" and lo behold, it's true!
Romance movies are a con. They fill us with that stupid shiny glimmer of hope that our White knights will appear in our lives any moment. And when we fall in love, we cling on to that hidden desire that we'll get to have our very own love story where the love of our life does something so amazing, so romantic, OUR love story should be the one on that big screen.
Romance movies are horrible. they fill us with a secret hope that eventhough this and that bad thing is happening in my relationship right now, maybe, just maybe, he's going to do something equivalent to going back to the corner where he first met me, take out his sleeping bag and never wanna move with my picture in his hand, saying, "if you see this girl can you tell her where I am".
Terrible. There is no happy ever after where he realises he's fallen madly in love with you and he has to have you, no matter what the personal cost. It doesn't happen that he leaves his job or girlfriend or state or country just so he can be the one by your side. Neh. More likely that he either finds another girl or you end up in a compromise.

Romantics. I know many guys who claim to be romantics but seriously? Cons.
He can't sleep, can't eat, every love song on the radio reminds him of you. But hey, when it comes to "love conquers all" and "all you need is love", you really better not be betting the house on him because you see that? That right there is his track marks and the shattered pieces of your heart on the cold hard floor. Don't look. He's not around anymore. No, don't bother looking out the window or at your phone. Don't bother glancing around when you go out. He's not there.

Romance movies sucks.

Now if you excuse me, I'm going back to folding butterflies and watching the latest romance movie I have because I'm a fool.

Terrified

After all my storms and hurricanes have settled, and all the dust clears, thats when you can see me, weak and pathetic. And I'm just standing there, unmoving because I dont even know where I'm supposed to go or what to do.

They say to fight your fears. Haha. Yeah, everyone knows its hard to fight a fear so everyone goes, "You can do it!" and maybe rattle of some tale of them or some person or another who fought a fear.
But each fear is unique and presents its own challenges to us.

I have mild Ochlophobia which is fear of crowds because it makes me feel suffocated like i cant breathe.
I have Trypanophobia which is fear of needles (the jabbing into your skin kind).
These two are my most obvious phobias. In completely dense crowds, I start to panic and I fidget around, 'looking' for air or a less dense area. And inside, I feel like I'm going to faint or scream or just cry.
It didnt help my Trypanophobia when someone told me if I tense my arm while getting the jab, the needle might break. WTF. I avoid jabs whenever I can. I preferred to take my chances with H1N1 than to get the immunity shot. I recently visited a friend in a hospital suffering from Hepatitis A and yea, it sucks, but no, I'm still probably not going to get the immunity shots. but when I have to, I do like for medicals. Then I do the mental equivalent of sticking my fingers in my ears and singing really loudly with my eyes clenched shut. Then when I actually get jabbed, I scream really loudly in my head. I once actually cried BEFORE i got my jab. I was 15.
I dont get my fear of needles. I'm not afraid of pain. I can stand the sight of not too much blood. I know why I need to get jabbed. But I just hate it.

So maybe the trick to phobias might be the same. Relax, apply science and logic. Whatever. But its not like "Oh, I got over my fear of crowds so my fear of needles."

Applying reason and logic doesnt help because in a way, i guess, its the fear of the unknown for me. What if the air really is thinning and I'm going to faint? What if I cant control myself and I jerk suddenly while I'm jabbed? (Which is dumb because if I didnt have a fear of needles, why would I jerk suddenly?


Is it justifiable? Probably not. In the end, we just have to 'man up' and deal with it. Doesnt stop us from running when we can. Doesnt stop us from freaking out at the last minute or when things seem to move downhill.

How long am I going to run from the biggest fear in my life right now? The cause of my fear is long gone but the reality of my fear still lives. Its so bad that its affecting important people in my life.
is it understandable? Maybe.
Is it justifiable? Not in a long run.
When am I going to 'man up'?

The Best

People tend to say, "You are an amazing person and you deserve the best."
I find it a little funny because:
1) There aren't that many 'best' out there for everyone
2) When you want someone or vice versa, you tend to think you're the best there is for that person

I have a good friend of mine who got together with a guy a couple of years back. He's a really good guy (or so I've heard). Anyways, things weren't going all that great and they decided to break up.
Later on, after much self torture and guilt, he and her best friend got together and they were happy. (I dont know though if they're still together)
And while she had cared for him deeply, she said it was different with the two of them compared to when she was with him. Better, in a way. They were happy and she was happy for him. Didnt mean she didnt feel really weird about it sometimes but she was happy for them.

So wait. Let's pretend for a minute that this story ends in "Happily Ever After". So he wasnt the best for her but was for her best friend? What, what?

Haha. Okay, I'm deliberately trying to be difficult.

I just think, well, sometimes we think that we are right for that person we want.
God knows I've deluded myself with that line many times before.
But its just us being selfish and being in denial.

I think it was in that book I read.

Ask yourself "Am I the best for him/her?"
Instead of focusing how much you need or want that person, think about if you are good for that person.

Once upon a time, a good friend of mine (they're all good friends of mine, eh?), an online friend I met through a game told me,
hey never let anyone ever get you down! you are amazing and you deserve the best. its a great feeling to love and save it for who deserves it and appreciates it even when at that moment it feels like you could never feel that way again well let me tell you you can

Sometimes we may feel like we'll never love again. Sometimes we feel like we lost something we'll never get back. Sometimes we just dont want to be alone. Sometimes we just want someone who is there for us, someone we can turn to. Sometimes we feel like love is not worth the risk or the effort or the time.

I am guilty of running away from commitment the moment things get too serious because I'm afraid, so very afraid, of getting my heart broken.

I have gotten over my past relationships, no doubt.
For me, I guess its that crystal glimmer of fairytale love that has been shattered a little too many times and the cracks and tiny slivers start to show.
After a while, when I'm holding that love in my hands, I hesitate and wonder, "what if this is just some rose tinted glass view?"
It freaks me out. And I didnt realize how broken my heart was until I started to feel for someone again, to really care and grow to love someone.
Someone told me, "Well, Sam, its just supposed to feel right. If you have any doubts at all, then that's probably not it."
But after a while, I think there's no black and white when it comes to love. In families, in friends and in that significant other. After all, a good con artist knows just how to ease all your doubts. After all, my phobia of getting into another relationship has screwed over three guys so far.

Our desires run deep. Sometimes they are so deep that we deny them even to ourselves. Sometimes they are so much stronger than we can bear that we do everything we can to convince ourselves otherwise.
Like a boy's desire to be in a normal family.
Like a girl's desire to for once, be part of a crowd of friends.
A simple desire to know, just at least once, what it feels like to be loved by someone.

Some things are easy to say but when it comes to the things closest to our hearts...
Do you think of me?
Do you care?
Dont leave me.
Can you see me?
Do you even know me?
Listen to me.
Love me.
Can I trust you?
Words get stuck in our throats whether its to some guy or girl we are crushing on or maybe to a friend who's fading away or to our parents. I think the hardest people to reveal your heart's desire to is parents. It hurts them to think they did it wrong so they convince themselves they know exactly what it is we're saying (which is whatever they want it to be) and fail to hear what it really is that we're crying out.

Anyways, so emo.

The best. I'm not anywhere close to the best. Does that mean that I'll never have someone since I'm not "the best"? I dont think that's true. If it is, God, that sucks.
But life is a journey. And although I may never be "the best" it doesnt mean I ever have to stop trying to be the best that I can be. As broken as I am, as destroyed as others may have left me, I dont ever have to give up on fixing up the pieces as well as I can.
All I can do after that is never to give up hope and to hope that I will find the people who will love me all the same.

Separuh Hatiku

I am actually very impressed by my sister, Liz. Remembering the original plan that she had to pick me up when I came back by bus from Singapore, she checked with me twice and even called today to ask me if she needed to pick me up.
Maybe she's finally growing up =)

I am still obsessed with this song... Little wonder why...

Half of my heart's got a real good imagination

Half of my heart's got you

Half of my heart's got a right mind to tell you

That half of my heart won't do

 Life is scary. And people are never what they seem. In fact, its like a huge masquerade ball.

I waltz across the ballroom in the arms of my beloved, my prince. 

Each story, waiting to be discovered~
I think people are like books. You can decide you dont like the cover or the words on the back and put it aside. You can pick it up because it looks interesting. You can skim through it. You can read it through as just another book. You can fall right into it. You can love it. You can hate it. Some people are like chick lits. Some people are thrillers. Some people are the not-very-interesting autobiographies. Some people are textbooks. Some people are books like "Kafka on the Shore"; with layers and layers of symbolism, hidden meanings, metaphors  in every page. Some of them are like "Atonement", "Sky Burial", or "A Hundred Secret Senses".
The night stands still and the world is ours.
And so we write and write and the plot continues to grow~
In every book, there is these little gems. Those wonders and ponderations that become all so tedious when voice aloud in a book club. I think in normal English, its the depths of the book? The tiny little twists in plots or characters or places. The little secrets. Because nothing can be taken at face value. There is always "udang di sebalik batu". A prawn behind the stone.  Just like in people. The little bits of us we hide that sometimes we hide even from ourselves because we just dont want to admit it but sometimes someone comes along and sees it; sees right into you and goes "hmm... its the other side of you"

But not every story has a happy ending and the night becomes day and masks dissolve.

Then there it is, that crossroads of how it could be~

In those cliched movies, books and real life, characters and people go "oh, I know what he/she is really like so its okay" but does it really matter who we are to the core? Should it be the dominant personality that matters? Like a grumpy person who's kind at heart is grumpy like 90% of the time and that really sucks to be around. Or a cheating guy who really actually truly loves you and only you but hey, everyone slips up once in a while so yeah, too bad if he cheats on you every now and again. Just like masks can slip off, they can also become so affixed, its hard to tell fiction from fact sometimes.
And then I wake up because it was all just another dream.
And looked down one as far as I could to where it bent in the undergrowth~
It is easier to hide behind a mask and lies and deceit than to expose yourself for who you truly are because at the end of the day, it is easier to console yourself with the fact that people dont really know you than to wonder late at night if they just hate who you truly are inside. It is easier to pretend a part of your life doesnt exist than to acknowledge that you cant keep living the other parts of your life without consequence.
because as much as you sing
I can't stop loving you
I can't stop loving you
I can't stop loving you
I can't stop loving you
The last line of that verse is still going to be
With half of my heart

You were just another dream.

And I just didnt know how to go on~

This probably doesnt make any sense to anyone. Except maybe you. *stares* O-O

You said it again, my heart's in motion
Every word feels like a shooting star
I'm at the edge of my emotions
Watching the shadows burning in the dark

Terrified - Katharine McPhee

I like this song too ^-^
I'm gonna stop rambling and eat dinner now...

50-50%?

I cannot say if it has been a good week or a bad.
Failed my interview at the very first stage and that really made me feel like crap.
Hotel the first few nights wasnt really great and we kept getting lost going back to the room.
Discovered something interesting about a close friend.
Got into an argument with aforementioned friend. 
Hard Rock Hotel was frigging awesome like crazy.
We had a view of the pool and it was so beautiful!
Had Tony Roma's and it was gooooooood.
Had more ribs at Hard Rock Cafe and it was delicious~

But didnt go to Sentosa beach, Mustafa Muhamad, SP, etc...
The room was so awesome and the pool was so amazing, it was hard to tear away from Sentosa.

Anyways...

Hmm...
Actually, I'm in kinda of a bad mood right now. Some crappy people have been spoiling my mood.

Sigh...
 I want to watch Leverage and my stoopid sims isnt installing.
I think i need to go to bed. I had trouble spelling "isnt"

night, guys!
and thanks for all the birthday wishes!

Revamp

Such pretty colors ^-^


So here I am, lazing. I'm supposed to pack. Gosh, its already 5.
I was wondering why I'm so exhausted today (apart from the early hours of the morning I have to wake up by) and realized it was probably thanks to the extra exercise I've been doing in a desperate attempt to lose weight. Haha.

My laptop seem to have frozen but Firefox seems to be working. So, yeah.

Five nights in Singapore!! Woo!! So we managed to cancel the ridiculously expensive hotel booking and my dad and I came to a compromise that I am very happy with ;)
I'll be sure to snap lots of pics so they should be up here in, say, a couple of months.

I went to renew my passport earlier this morning at Plaza GLOMAC.

It took me slightly more than an hour to get there and only ONE hour to get my new passport! Incredible! I used the new kiosk machine. KIPPAS or something like that. So super convenient.


Recipe for Renewing Passport via KIPPAS
Ingredients
- Old passport
- IC
- Photocopy of IC
- Passport size photo (x1)
-Money (RM100 for 2 years, RM300 for 5 years)

~ Check which locations have KIPPAS machines. (As far as I know, Damansara and GLOMAC)
~ Head there as early as you can (But the queue is not that bad as far as I could see and its relatively fast to use the machine so yeah)
~ Follow prompts by KIPPAS machine. Insert passport and IC. Scan your thumbprint. Insert picture and money.
~ Take out receipt.
~ Wait an hour.
~ Drop off receipt at counter specified on receipt.
~ Wait till you're called =D

My dad told me to renew for 2 years but then apparently, if you have any remaining months on your passport, they wont be added to your renewed passport (up to 6 months).
Meaning, since my passport expires 31 Oct 2011, and if i renew 2 years, it will expire 26th May 2013 which is 2 years from today.
But since I renew 5 years, it expires 31 Oct 2016.
So I was calculating and if I travel within the 6 months my passport will expire, I'd actually be losing money and time renewing my passport again every 1.5 years, instead of saving that RM100.

I had originally picked a really awesome kick ass background but it made it hard to see the sidebar gadget stuff so I changed it but I like this one too.

I just remembered I'm going to Singapore during the Grand Singapore Sale.
Tourist benefits! 
Oh noes, its gonna be 6 soon!
*goes off to pack*

It is now 8:32pm.
Internet went off earlier but its back now. Kinda,.
Well, dinner is done and so is packing =)
Must not forget my booking slip and color pencils.
See you guys in a couple of days!

Hai

I have seriously lost any interest in listening to Hitz.fm. The music they play is getting more and more ridiculous. The best part is that they "play all the music YOU ask for". C'mon. Who wants to listen to 'I whip my hair back and forth, I whip my hair back and forth!'

So yeah.

If you see this, it means you're on my private blog!! Woo!
Reasons why I made a private blog:
1) I dont like the world knowing my business yo
2) To make life a little harder for you people cuz you gotta sign in to read heh

My birthday is coming.
My dad said he'd pay for my hotel stay this weekend in Singapore (within reason, of course) which made me jump for joy because accommodation would have seriously put a huge dent in my savings especially after Penang where I ate a worrisome amount of food.

So he gave me his card after I showed him a hotel on Agoda.com. He passed me his credit card and I proceeded to book it. Then... O_O OH KNS SHITTTTTTT I was clumsy and careless and dumb =_= i didnt notice the rates were not what I thought they were.
I sheepishly went to tell my dad and surprisingly he didnt get (very) mad at me. I have a feeling it has something to do with the fact I dropped the whole uni thing and I'm gonna get a job.
So he said he'd see if he could cancel the ridiculously expensive room booking (though a part of me hopes not, its a frigging awesome room in a frigging awesome hotel) and book another. If he cant, then well, I've got a nice birthday present abet an unintentional one.

Anyways, I recently got back from my trip to Penang.
For those of you who dont know, (Yes, I am going to announce it here to EVERYONE) I went for a job interview. Didnt get it. I'm going down to Singapore for another interview which is apparently harder to get but hey, its worth a shot eh?

List of Things I Ate In Ipoh + Penang
Assam Laksa (7 bowls)
Prawn Noodles (1.25 bowls)
Curry Laksa (1 bowl)
Rojak (~1 serving)
Chee Cheong Fun (0.75 plate)
Pork Satay (15 sticks)
Tuna Bun (1 bun)
Egg Tarts (2.5 tarts)
Char Siew Bun (1 bun)
Salted Chicken (0.5 chicken)
Fruits + Jelly
Tom Yum Maggi Cup (1 Cup)

I think this is all I ate. How long was I in Ipoh + Penang? I left at 9am Friday morning. Reached Ipoh for lunch, reached Penang by late afternoon, dropped by Ipoh again late evening on Monday and reached back about 10pm AFTER eating nasi lemak at SS2. So that list of everything I ate was around 72 hours, 3 days, give or take a couple of hours. I ate about 15 servings of food in 3 days.

Sigh. So for the next few days, I'm gonna have to work my butt off to burn off all that food.
Ran 3km today.

I like Penang =D

Fortunately, there isnt much to pig out on in Singapore especially since I've found a Marutama here. I have fallen in <3 with their half boiled egg.
Hmm, what else is new...

Oh, my birthday is coming up. Despite all I've been saying for the last few months, I think I'm just gona forgo the whole birthday party celebration thing. All this travelling is putting a huge dent in my sock purse.

Hey guys~ It would make me realllllly happy if you'd play board games with me~~
I have Risk, Blockus, Monopoly Deal, Life card game, Cludo card game, and Pictionary. I'd be happy with a poker night too~ Oh, and I wanna go to Sunway Lagoon. And go to Marutama.

I need to start reading again, I can feel my brain rotting amidst all the food and tv I've been watching.

Anyways, I'm gonna go off and sleep now. I'll upload pictures of my Penang trip later on
(if I remember heh)

Nights!

formspring.me

Ask me anything. http://formspring.me/samannachen

The Little Things

So I stand here, poised to take the title of "World's Biggest Hypocrite"; just centimeters away from that very fine line.

Decisions are a bitch to make.

I have this new philosophy in life where anything that requires a lot of thought is simply not thought about and decisions that need to be made are decided in the simplest way there is, by flip of coin or simply "because I feel like it". and when it comes to peer pressure and what people think, f*** it.
Yeah, I'm having a lot of problem sticking to that right now.

everyone has a stress-coping mechanism. mine is "fight or flight". Where basically, if I cant 'fight', i just turn around, stick my fingers in my ears, clench my eyes and run as far away as a i can.

i miss you right now. i wish you were here because you'd know exactly what to say.
Actually, I know what you'd say but I guess its your support that makes all the difference in the world.

Half of My Heart

Really like this song by John Mayer.

I'm turning 21 and I still cant spell very well...

I was thinking to myself, "I wonder how ____'s date went? Oh, and I was supposed to go play Risk with Alexy and the guys. And when was the last time I talked to ___ and ___?!" I grumbled a little till I remembered it was me who dropped off the grid. Heh.
I got a little preoccupied in my alternate reality and I've been spending less time in this virtual reality. Of course, I'm still Baroness Mousehunter, dedicating myself to stopping the Warmonger and his troops!

I honestly dont know why I bother keeping a blog when most of the things I wanna say are pretty private. I think I will make my blog private la. Beh tahan adi. Its ridiculous.

Lemme see...

Since I last posted:
Got over a phobia. Went for dinner with a friend and his family because I was super hungry and it was steamboat!
Suffered from another phobia. I can take pain but I hate hate hate injections. My mum tried to get me to go for a shot that I have avoided since I was, like, 12. Yea, Manda, you know what shot I'm talking about. I once cried BEFORE i got a shot.
Knocked up the car a couple more times. I'm honestly surprised my dad still lets me drive it much less offers to let me drive his new car.
Gained a new phobia when I drove my mum's harrier through ss15. Big Car. scarehhhh
apparently, i am now talking like my sista. or typing like her anyways
found a really really big baby
made a few new revelations, had an epiphany or two then threw them all into the wind

Oh, my daddy's home and he brought me a present =D ice cold ice. oh yeaaaah.

QOTD
Alex Yeoh: ahh when i see a notification from you on my Facebook i always get worried ....

Now, that really made me laugh. usually, alex and I communicate by sms or msn so whenever i post on his facebook or comment on his stuff, its bound to be something of the nonsensical nature.

I am so bored and tired of being cooped in the house. I'm not feeling well again. Sigh. Though the only upside is that my sister cooked some very delicious spinach and ikan bilis porridge for me. Yays.
Despite the careful tendings, here I am, bedridden. Not able to gorge on potato chips or chocolates. With none of my sweet loving having been delivered. Dont get me started on the bumps and bruises I managed to give myself =_= isnt there a limit to how much a person can hurt oneself?

So anyways, I'm gonna make my blog private.
If you read my blog and your name is not on this list, please lemme know.
Stalker-san
Sharon
Foong
Cynthia
Aisha
Kay, i have no idea who reads my blog. hahaha... so besides the random people who randomly drop by... o_o

I would really like a bag of Mr. Potatoes tomato flavor chips! And some assam laksa. Lamb stew. AHHHHHH!!!! I'VE HAD NOTHING BUT OATS (with rasins) AND NOODLES AND PORRIDGE (and some char siew rice) LATELY

Penang, I cannot wait to see you!
And Singapore, just you wait till I get my hands on some Tony Roma ribs covered in bbq sauce!

i want more ramen noodles.

Statistics suck

I dont really like statistics. Math is one of my favorite subjects but not stats because it usually involves a lot of reading and sometimes, just because the teacher/lecturer phrases the question in a weird way, it gets totally screwed up.
Another reason why I dont like it is because people like to make fake stats.

98% of guys will dump you if
You don't want to give a blow job
You don't like hanging out with his friends 24/7
You are looking for a legitimate relationship, not just sex
You don't look gorgeous every day of every week
Sometimes you're a little dramatic
You refuse to send him slutty pictures of yourself
You get angry when he drinks, smokes, or does drugs
I'm looking for the other 2%

 Really? 98% of guys? I really wonder where this 98% come from. So out of a hundred guys I know, I'm guessing like at most 20-30% of them would be so mean? And that is a high number.

Guys can be assholes with their stupid ways of reasoning and logic but this is so totally bogus la.

Today is Mother's Day ._.
Yesterday, a mother thanked me for flowers her son got me to deliver, thinking I was the one who gave them to her ._. Why she thought I would give her flowers is totally beyond me. Yea, I dropped them off and I arranged them nicely in her room but still ._.
But its so cute to see how happy she was.

Speaking of which, that particular son is question is not replying my sms =(

Woot! I cant wait for the next 3 weeks!! Hahaha... Lots of pampering, torture and running around to be done! =D Going to make a trip up to Penang (when Sharon will be in KL =_= ) and going down to Singapore (when krish will be in Kluang =_= ) and with a little bit of luck and skill, I'll have a big portion of my future settled =)
*excited* this will be the most fun I have had in ages!

I need new running shoes ._.